Divorcing parents have a lot of issues to work out with one another. They need to make decisions about property division and parenting time. Even in scenarios where parents try to evenly split time with their children, one parent usually has slightly more parenting time.
That parent’s address then becomes the children’s address for matters such as school enrollment. Frequently, parents may find themselves disagreeing about who should have more parenting time and whose address becomes the children’s address.
When children are older and more mature, they may also have preferences about where they live or spend more of their time. Can older children and teenagers make their own decisions about shared custody arrangements?
A child’s preferences can be important
If parents manage to negotiate their own custody arrangements, they can decide what factors they consider, including any preferences that their children may have expressed. One parent may agree to spend slightly less time with the children because of tensions in their relationship while simultaneously working to improve their connection with their children.
However, if parents have not worked out their own arrangements and have to take the matter to court, then state law influences what factors judges consider. The allocation of parental rights and responsibilities should always focus on the best interests of the children.
When judges try to determine what may be in a child’s best interests, they look at the stability of the parents and the relationship that the children have with them. They may also consider the preferences that children express. There is no specific age at which a judge must consider a child’s wishes. Instead, they decide how much weight to give a child’s preferences based on their age, maturity and reasoning.
Children cannot set the terms of a custody order. They also do not have the authority to refuse to comply with the established custody order. Children do not have the right to insist that they do not want to spend time with one parent, for example, until they reach adulthood. It is the obligation of both parents to ensure that they uphold the terms of the custody order.
Learning more about what influences child custody determinations can help parents as they prepare for divorce. Children have the option of expressing their preferences, but they do not control the outcome of custody disputes.