Co-parenting requires patience and flexibility. Both parents have to give up time with their children. They also have to follow the schedule established in their custody order. Many co-parents eventually find a way to work with each other effectively. However, some couples continue to struggle with the requirements of co-parenting long after they start living separately. Few things are more frustrating than trying to work around a co-parenting schedule, only to have the other parent show up late.
Waiting at a drop-off location for half an hour every other week or learning about a cancellation while already on the way is frustrating and inconvenient. It can affect an individual’s career and their relationships.
How can one parent deal with a co-parent who does not show up on time for their parenting time?
Frustrated parents need proof
To address an issue with inconsistent parenting times or routine delays, the parent who does show up on time needs to establish a pattern of inappropriate behavior. Doing so can be as simple as keeping written notes of every time the other parent is late.
Records of late visits should include details such as how late they were and what impact that delay may have had on the other parent. They may have missed out on a work opportunity or had to cancel a trip because they missed their flight. Parents may also need to know any negative emotions expressed by their children.
Late arrivals and parenting time cancellations tend to negatively affect the children as well. The other parent showing up late or not at all can feel like abandonment. For some children, the reduction in time with the other parent can be damaging to their self-esteem and overall mental health.
Modifying the order may be possible
Custody orders require the consistent compliance of both adults in the family. When one parent or the other doesn’t show up on time or cancels their parenting session, their choices may have a ripple effect on an entire family. Once canceling or shortening parenting sessions becomes a common practice, one parent may be able to convince the courts to modify the custody order.
Doing so can take pressure off of the frustrated parents while also altering the responsibilities of the parent who is inconsistent. Not only do they have to deal with a reduction in the allocated time they have with their children, but they may also face an increase in child support because they have less time with their children.
Seeking a custody modification is reasonable in scenarios where one parent fails to comply with an existing custody order consistently. Provided that a judge agrees that the current circumstances are not in the best interests of the children, a custody modification might be a viable solution to a frustrating co-parenting situation.